Saturday, February 7, 2009

The Whys

I created this blog because it seemed like a good way for me to vent some of my fears, reactions, and the craziness of it all. I just needed a place to talk about it, in my own words, without regard for other people’s opinion or judgment. There's still a lot of anger around this situation. I understand it; you have your reasons. That being said, I am the mother, and I am as pained by the situation as I’m angered and frustrated by it. Granted, everyone has a right to voice their opinion, but realize that when you lash out and speak ill of one of my kids, it hurts me. Knowing that, I would ask that you choose your words carefully if we are to ever truly get past this.
On this blog, I had originally planned on relating incidents that have happened and then talk about what I learned from the experiences, but it's a work in progress. I'm still trying to get some kind of understanding about the hows and whys of life during the last 10 years. I have few answers. Slow learner??? Ha! Maybe. But more likely we tiptoe around the subject because it stirs this hornet’s nest. I guess the one thing I've learned for sure is that I have no control over anyone else. They have to come to their understanding in their own time and place. All I can do is be a support without being an enabler.
If others have found this blog, please feel free to talk about your experiences, your worries, as well as your hopes and what you may have learned. I hope it helps to know you're not the only one going through it.

5 comments:

Scriptor Senex said...

I agree with you entirely about people not criticising one's child. I work on the basis there are two separate things - my child and his behaviour. I love my child, I have a problem with his behaviour. Heaven help anyone who criticises any of my children within my hearing!

septembermom said...

Your writing shows how deeply you feel for your child. Hopefully, writing about your feelings and worries will help you get through difficult situations. My children are still young, but I don't know what the future holds. The kind of hurt that you are feeling is so real and raw. Your strength and dedication are admirable. Take care.

Proud Mom said...

I was afraid to reveal my own turmoil in my blog, but you have given me inspiration. I must come to terms with the fact that, despite our love & support, we have created a rift somewhere that needs to be corrected.

If we allow the poor behavior to fester, we are in jeopardy of it becoming more toxic.

We will always love our children, not matter what, but there are times that we do not like them... and their behavior is always at the root of that.

Thank you for your sweet comments. It is comforting to know we are not alone.

JeanieB said...

I have been there done that; and it is a frustrating pain. I have six kids so believe me it has not been a walk in the park, yet easier than most. My only solace has been my prayer of faith, knowing that My God has a perfect plan, and even when I see nothing but stupid behavior. I hold on to the promise, of He who began a good work.
The truth of that is He HAS BEGUN a good work in us all. I know for I was my mothers sorrow and grief at one tiime myself, and had a grandmother that never said a word, and only prayed!

Even with my one daughter who in the process of her insanity almost lost her life; the phone call of that event still rings in the recesses of my memory (mam, there has been an accident three kid’s were air lifted and are not expected to live, that call was two/ thirds correct) Man, a call that no parent should ever have to receive.
As if that was not hard enough on a mom, and dad; she continued on after near death to get a DUI.

Yet maybe solace will be found for you dear to know that now, only three years later, she woke up and she is happily married and doing amazingly well. She recently moved back home from Hawaii, we just the other evening spoke of those days of horror, still painfully frustrating to me, and I have the gray hair to show for it all.

Dan Felstead said...

I will have to say you have a lot of courage to deal with these twists and turns in life. I like the others who have commented here, have had issues in the past with my son. And as others have said...life works itself out somehow. I wish you the best outcome in your dilemma. You have a very unique blog started here and I have a feeling it will help the readers as well as yourself by being able to openly discuss life's downside.

Dan